To Lu's Dismay
by alygator86
Summary: Lu goes a bit psycho... Warning spoilers for the season finale


Disclaimer: I don't own anything – if I did Lu wouldn't be here.

So I wrote To Devan's Dismay a looong time ago. I was on Skype earlier reading it to Kristi and Andrea and K-Dog said I should write one about Lu. So I did. It's awesome. Well probably not but hey! It was fun!

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Lu's POV

I can't believe he broke up with me. Maybe I should have seen it coming, but he broke up with me to go back to her. I hate her. She makes my life hell. Why would Woody want to go back to her? After four years he finally slept with her. But then we started seeing each other. I thought things were great! We were doing so well and Jordan wasn't even a part of it. Then the whole case with Pollack came up and he sided with her. He believed she didn't kill him. I mean come on. She found at the scene with weapon and no alibi. But after a few months they cleared and found the actual killer. And now Woody is back with Jordan – that man stealing whore. I don't think I could stand another of seeing them working together. It's insane. They are almost psychically linked and it's disgusting how sweet they are together. I loathe having to work with her. She knows it too but it doesn't seem to bother her at all. It's like she gets off on my annoyance.

Today is Seely's birthday party and I heard Woody was going to the party at the bar. That would be my chance to get him back. I heard earlier that day Jordan was stuck doing a double she wouldn't be able to go with Woody. I was sitting at the bar drinking a kaluah mud slide when he came in. He was dressed in a dark purple dress shirt and jeans. He looked very good. I got up and I made my way towards him. I had almost reached him when someone else called his name. He turned around and I could just see a glimpse of the person. It was her.

Woody smiled in surprise and hugged her. I could hear what they were saying.

"Jor, I thought you had to work a double tonight," he said before kissing her.

"I did but Garret let me off," she smiled.

That whore. She tricked her boss into letting her come to a party. I won't stand for that.

That night Woody and _her_ didn't part at all. They sat next to each other while we all ate. They walked around together talking to everyone. Why don't these two ever separate. I mean if Jordan just left for like ten minutes I could get Woody back. Or at least drive a wedge between them. It was like getting teeth pulled just watching them dance. There was like no space between them at all. Jordan rested her head on his shoulder and his cheek was on her head. No matter how hard I tried to look away I couldn't.

Finally the night ended and I went home. I lay in bed for a while trying to think of more ways to get them apart. I concluded that there would be no way to get Woody unless Jordan was dead.

The next couple days I spent trying to figure out how exactly to kill Jordan. She wouldn't go anywhere with me willingly so I would have to find a way to trick her.

I finally got my chance. Woody and I were assigned to a case together and I came up with a plan. While Woody was preoccupied with what seemed to be a clue, I went up behind him and hit him on the back of the head with something he knocked him out. When he came to we were in his apartment and he was tied up. I had a gun pointed at him and he tried to reason with me,

"You don't want to do this, Lu," he told me.

I laughed, "That's where you're wrong, Woody," I replied. "I want to get back together with you but I can't if Jordan is still alive."

"So you have me tied up?" he asked trying to find the logic in it.

"No," I said, "You're going to call her and have come over here so I can kill her."

"And I'm going to do that because?" Woody asked.

"Well if you don't I'll kill you and I really don't want to do that," I put his cell phone up to his ear, "You will call her and tell her to come here. If you even try to tell her what's going on I will kill you both."

She told Woody all of this so calmly and it was a bit unnerving. He was trying to figure out how to tip off Jordan so that she wouldn't get hurt. Lu dialed Jordan's number and held the phone up to his ear. Jordan answered and Woody tried to keep his voice as normal at possible.

"Hey Jor," he said. "Could you come over when you finish work? And bring that movie where the Princess wants to marry the Farm Boy and tries to kill Buttercup?"

"What?" Jordan asked, "That's not how the movie goes."

"Yes it is," Woody replied, "I love how much it's like us. Right now."

"Um, ok," Jordan replied, "I'll see you in a little bit."

Jordan's POV

About half an hour later Jordan got to Woody's apartment. She had with her, her own gun, Seely, Santana, and Framus. She went in first and saw what she had somewhat expected. Woody was tied up and Lu was standing behind him smiling somewhat manically. If that wasn't déjà vu from that crazy mass pike murderer she didn't know what was.

Lu's POV again

"Lu," Jordan said, "What are you doing?"

Seely, Santana, and Framus came in behind Jordan totally surprising me.

"Lu, put the gun down," Seely told me.

"I can't," I replied, "I have to kill Jordan because that's the only way I can ever be with Woody."

Santana took a few steps towards me but stopped when I pointed my gun at her.

"Put it down now," Santana ordered my. "Don't make us shoot you."

"No,"I replied. I was ready to shoot either Santana or Jordan or both. It didn't really matter to me. As long as I got Woody in the end.

Out of nowhere Seely lunged at me and I was flat on my back and I had lost my gun. Jordan pounced and grabbed my weapon before I could do anything. Seely cuffed me, that bitch, and Jordan started to untie Woody.

"I am so glad you understood my message," Woody told her.

"Well it was kind of obvious," she replied, "It's your favorite movie and there is no way you would have explained the plot like that. You would have just said 'Jordan bring the Princess Bride because I just can't get enough of that movie',"

Woody laughed and I was even more pissed off that I was before. Seely, Santana and Framus took me from Woody's apartment but before they closed to door I saw that bitch kissing my boyfriend. I should have known better that to let him ask her for a movie.

The End!


End file.
